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Sep. 5th, 2009 @ 01:04 am I didn't think it would take this long
Current Music: Thelonious Monk, Alone in San Francisco
I'm banging my way through the final chapters of "Grover Park George on ACCESS". I owe somebody a simple database that they'll be able to use and update and thought "well, why not finish working your way through those Access examples from that book?"

It's the little typos and other errors that hang me up the worst. Just figuring out that he meant "Take A and relabel it as B" instead of "Take B and relabel it as A" -- that kind of thing. Doggone you, Grover Park George! Would it kill you to put up an Errata page at your website?

I'm making so many annotations in my copy of the book that I'm tempted to sign it as the Half-Blood Prince.
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Sacred Chao
Mar. 3rd, 2009 @ 02:51 pm Cough, rain, network, other shoe...
"Why wouldn't Prof. Harold Hill go out with the St. Pauli girl?"

Found another note this morning:

"The sadder Budweiser Girl for me!
- HH
"
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Sacred Chao
Mar. 2nd, 2009 @ 11:18 am Playing with my own head?
Okay, now I've started messin' with my own head. I woke this morning to find a note to myself on the nightstand that says only,

"Why wouldn't Prof. Harold Hill go out with the St. Pauli girl?"

That it. Nothing else. It's some kind of koan from my dreaming self.
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Sacred Chao
Feb. 20th, 2009 @ 10:15 pm (no subject)
The lodge raised three new Master Masons on Wednesday night. We balloted on four applicants. Last month we balloted on two. And as I was settling in at the Secretary's desk (I'm learning that getting there merely a half-hour early isn't enough time) I was handed five more applications to read this month.

Do you have any idea how much work this is for a lodge Secretary? No, you couldn't possibly, unless you've been one. And if you have been one, God bless you. I'm trying to imagine how I'll handle all of this when I finally manage to find a job. (This "secretary" stuff? That's just my hobby.)
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Feb. 17th, 2009 @ 11:48 am (no subject)
Happy Birthday (Thursday) to [info]lediva

"They also post who only sit and Twitter."
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The Rt. Rev.
Feb. 12th, 2009 @ 10:46 pm Beware the... WHAT???
William Shakespeare

He jests at scars that never felt a giant squid.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:



I was having so much fun with this! You will, too. There's an almost Zelig-like quality to some of these, from adventurous...



to sad...



But you gotta love the classics:



You'll want to start making up your own. "Dost thou think because thou'rt virtuous, there shall be no more giant squid?"
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Two pals
Feb. 12th, 2009 @ 11:00 am How wide is wide enough?
You think there's enough room on the Hudson River for Captain Sully to land the whole frikkin' Economy?
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Feb. 5th, 2009 @ 11:28 am Well, okay, except for that...
"Of modern snakes, Titanoboa is most closely related to boa constrictors, except that it was the length of a school bus."

Ancient snake was as long as T. rex -- Reuters
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Feb. 5th, 2009 @ 10:20 am Just saying, is all...


Aw, come on. You know you're curious, too.

(And as they say, "do what you love and the monkeys will follow.")
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Feb. 2nd, 2009 @ 11:23 am A Question on Groundhog Day
Consider that "the" groundhog, the official one, lives in Punxsutawney, northeast of Pittsburgh, in the heart of Pennsylvania. So, do you honestly suppose that, no matter what the groundhog may have ever seen or not seen, that Spring has ever come to the middle of PA two weeks after Groundhog Day, that is, February 16? Ever? I mean, since the Carboniferous Period, of course.



And, do you notice that Punxsutawney does not ever hold a "The Groundhog Got It Right Day" either 2 weeks or 6 weeks after February 2? Hmmm....
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Jan. 15th, 2009 @ 05:24 am Woop! Woop! Woop!
Well, hello! At a little before 5am today, all of the fire- and smoke- and CO- (and weasel- ???) detectors in the whole house went off! So we're all wandering around in our pajamas, poking at things with mop handles, re-checking the basement, and being otherwise valiant, when a team of Acton's Finest arrive in their big red truck.

After a fruitless few minutes, they locate an errant detector in the second-floor ceiling, detach it from its wires, and lo! peace returns. By that time, I already had this laptop stowed safely in its travel bag, along with the backup flashdrive and most recent backup disk, in case the order came to jump ship.

If it had come to it, I'd have also dropped in the little jewelry box and a few other small, pilferable items. I know this isn't East Cambridge, but still, some things you don't forget.
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Sacred Chao
Jan. 13th, 2009 @ 03:12 pm Antimetabole makes example of *you*
Google never stops finding ways to amuse me. Today I'm enjoying that feature where, when you're typing your search terms into the main page search window, it starts offering options to help you out. Just now, for instance, I began typing "in russia", and Google started channelling Yaakov Smirnov for me, offering:

-- in russia car drives you
-- in russia waldo finds you
-- in russia shirt wears you
-- in russia english learns you

before it gets around to anything serious. Thank you Google.

(Okay, I'll admit it: I wasn't looking for anything serious. I had been intending to type in "In Russia, birds watch you", just to see what came up, but seeing the offered alternatives has been amusement for now.)

________
Update: currently, there are no Google results for "In Russia, birds watch you". I don't know what this portends.
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Sacred Chao
Jan. 7th, 2009 @ 01:10 am Song composed while listening to dreadful poetry...
As part of an absurd discussion in Boing Boing, I was moved to compose the following. Sing it with your friends.

When I find myself with dreadful poets
One thing comes to rescue me
Humming lines of gibb'rish
Lurgid Bee! Lurgid Bee!

And when they keep on reading verses
Chanting 'til my ears implode
Silently I'm singing,
Lurgid Bee! Lurgid Bee!

Lurgid Bee! Lurgid Bee!
Lurgid Bee! Lurgid Bee!
'Til I'm all gruntbuggly
Lurgid Bee! Lurgid Bee!
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The Rt. Rev.
Dec. 23rd, 2008 @ 07:39 pm Second verse...
...not the same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse:


Oh Porcupine! Oh Porcupine!
You're cute but kinda scary.
I see your sweet and smiling face
And yet, I'm rather wary.
Although you're nothing like a thug
You're still not gonna get a hug.
Oh Porcupine! Oh Porcupine!
You're cute but kinda scary.
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Soon!
Dec. 20th, 2008 @ 12:24 pm Soon all the children will be singing...
Oh Porcupine! Oh Porcupine!
Please don't come any closer.
Oh Porcupine! Oh Porcupine!
I don't want trouble, nossir.
I'm truly hoping that you will
not stick me with your spiky quills.
Oh Porcupine! Oh Porcupine!
Please don't come any closer.

(tomorrow, maybe another verse. if you're good.)
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Two pals
Nov. 27th, 2008 @ 08:09 pm The only Merchant of Venice joke I know...
A friend of mine just wrote a review of a local production of Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. So I sent her the only MoV joke I know:

It's about a week after the trial. Tubal comes into the synagogue on a weekday morning, sees Shylock davening like nothing's happened.

"Hey, boychick," Tubal nudges him. "What are you doing here? You're a Christian now, remember?"

Shylock looks at him puzzled, smacks his forehead, and exclaims, "Ahhh! Goyische kup!"


Now, of course, I have to work on rendering it into iambic pentameter:

TUBAL
...Friend
Shylock, I am shocked to see you here
among our congregation, deeply bent
in rocking prayer with kippah perched upon
your dry and troubled head, where lately rained
the holy sprinkling of the Christian font,
which from our number moistly marked you out,
as Mighty God with furious sundering flood
did Noah from his home and friends divide.
Yet here in daily habit stand arrayed
tefillin wrapped upon your arm and brow...

ANOTHER JEW
Hey, keep it down you two! The morning psalms
are just about to start...

TUBAL
...your pardon, friend!
We'll keep our voices hid behind our teeth.
Come Shylock, tell me how it is
you come, without your cross, into the shul?


Et cetera...
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Two pals
Nov. 3rd, 2008 @ 08:34 pm Vote tomorrow!
These two guys can't vote...



You can.



Vote.
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a blur
Oct. 14th, 2008 @ 03:46 pm She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time...?
Another meme from [info]baron_steffan: When you see this, post in your journal your favorite "Princess Bride" quotation (excluding "as you wish" and the Inigo Montoya riff).

At first, I considered, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means," which has been coming to mind a lot while watching the current campaign season. And I suppose that only in my dreams will Obama reveal, near the climax of the final debate, "I'm not left-handed either."

But really, if we're judging on wit, charm, and applicability in daily life, has there ever been a better sendoff than, "Have fun stormin' the castle!" ??
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Oct. 4th, 2008 @ 01:05 am Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to [info]ellen_kushner!

Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el rey David;
hoy por ser tu cumpleaños te las cantamos a ti.
Despierta, mi bien, despierta
Mira que ya amaneció
Ya los pajarillos cantan
La luna ya se metió.
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Two pals
Oct. 4th, 2008 @ 12:35 am "Page 56"
Got this from [info]baron_steffan:

* Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST

I'm house-sitting, with an opportunity to re-read an old favorite. They had one copy on a shelf in an office and another in their tv room, so I have one open on my bedside table and another right here. I'm not sure if the rules mean start counting with the first complete sentence, or with whatever chunk of sentence starts pg 56. Assuming the latter, we get,

Once in a while, inevitably, the real world would intrude, and Marcus would see what he realized years later had been the signs of chaos.

The last word in that quote is also the title of the book, by James Gleick.
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The Rt. Rev.
Aug. 17th, 2008 @ 08:36 pm Visiting El
Current Music: Benny Carter, "Sometimes I'm Happy"
My friend Stephanie and I took a jaunt down to Providence yesterday and dropped in for a visit with El at the Oak Hill Rehab Center in Pawtucket.



Bringing a lady friend along worked out well, as it gave El a chance to recount some classic tales and be his old gallant self.

They brought dinner while we were visiting. It looked quite a bit like the various pastel-colored substances the crewmen were served in 2001: A Space Odyssey. One big improvement though: upon tasting it, El happily declared, "it has flavor!" This, it appears, is something that had been lacking in previous meals. That, and the fact that they're finally letting him have ice in his drinks now, are small luxuries, deeply appreciated.

El wants everyone to know that yesterday morning was a milestone in his recovery. He was able to stand for the first time, nearly unsupported. His regular PT will continue, and he looks forward to surpassing the "nearly".

He was delighted that all kinds of old friends, from so many of the many chapters in his biography, have been getting in touch, including someone he was in Bronx Science with, way back, I think, around the time they invented the electron.

If you're thinking you ought to visit him, you're right.
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Two pals
Aug. 14th, 2008 @ 12:31 pm Don't read this...
Here is the latest posting by my old improv pal, Phil, formerly the God-of-Comedy:

Taste the Tunafish Ice Cream

Do not read this while eating. (And not because it has anything whatsoever at all to do with either tunafish or ice cream.) Do not read it when you are about to eat. Do not read it having just recently eaten. In fact, maybe don't read it if you have ever, ever eaten. Anything. At all. Ever.

It is pretty funny though.
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Sacred Chao
Aug. 4th, 2008 @ 09:16 pm Everybody's fine...
At first I feared maybe they'd all died in a blogging accident, but then I realized that everybody's either away at Pennsic or still sleeping off a massive win at a Rock Band competition. Things will probably be back to normal in a week or so.

Meanwhile, this will give it another little poke.
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